I can’t believe that Friday has come around so quickly. For today’s post I had intended to write the Scarf of the Moment profile for my new Hermès scarf, Le Carrousel du Tigre Royal, but I am not able to manage that.

You see, unfortunately, I am struggling mentally at the moment. My severe depression has been really difficult to handle over recent months and I have been suffering together with my very supportive chaps. In addition, in the five years since I had the stroke, I am noticing more and more issues with my memory. All of this means that I am difficult to live with, frustrated and sad.

I suppose that many people, as they age, begin to think about organising their finances, household, and general physical and digital “clutter”. This could be for a variety of reasons. In my case it’s because I am frightened of another stroke which could have a serious impact on my memory and cognitive function, and my physical ability to use tech. I am the most computer literate person living in this house on a day to day basis. When Younger Son visits, that hierarchy probably changes, but I feel that it is my duty to support the family by making it as simple and clear as possible to access our physical (in terms of our iPads and laptops) and cloud data. Lovely Husband deals with all of the actual paperwork and has also been working his way through it all, which is also a mammoth task!

So, because I worry that I may have a limited time in which to sort all of this out, I have been spending hours deleting obsolete stuff, moving files across between devices and online storage, teaching myself how to use both Windows based and Apple based devices and Cloud accounts, and so on. This would be pretty mind frazzling for someone who’s brain is fully functional, never mind for me!

To help with these actions, I created a series of diagrams yesterday to show what I was trying to achieve in a visual representation. This is really helpful for me and the actual creation process was too…

An added complication is that my new antidepressant has an “interesting” side effect on me! I have become extremely manic. My brain is bouncing around from idea to idea, making my concentration levels dive. It’s kind of like this…

Wake up far too early >> open iPad >> read a couple of news headlines >> read X for 2 minutes >> eat breakfast >> drink a cup of tea >> play a quick game of Solitaire >> glance at Facebook >> start reading a Mumsnet post >> get bored after two sentences >> check my phone >> flit to my files and open a couple >> have a cup of tea >> do some of the newspaper crossword >> back to the iPad >> create an image >> read 3 paragraphs of my ebook >> go to the blog post that I started to write yesterday and write a new sentence and a half >> check my phone >> more tea >> make some notes about how to uploa… >> try to find someth… >> chat wi… >> drink some t… >> check my mob… >> forget how to do… >> try to find my notes on how… >> eat my lunch >> and so on, and so on… >>>>>>> ……….. 😆😆😆

… and I missed out: sorting out my meds, taking my meds, more tea, getting dressed, chatting to my chaps, answering the phone, writing emails, trying to help with housework, going to the loo, more tea, ordering stuff online… and more and more…

Lovely Husband and Elder Son are really trying to help, but I must be worrying them so much. It’s frustrating for me, but it must be awful for them. I just hope that this all settles down!

I have put some things in place to help:

• Ordered some sticky notes and notepads for physical reminders.
• Organised hospital bags for myself and LH with the idea that if I have them ready, we won’t need them. Superstitious I know!
• Using the Notes and Reminders apps on my iPad.
• Sorting out our Contacts and making sure they sync across all devices.
• Printing copies of our Contacts.
• Making easily accessible lists and also instructions for myself. I can forget half way through doing something that I have done hundreds of times before! Then I can’t remember where I wrote that…

Anyway, this post has become much longer than I envisaged when I wrote the original title (so I rewrote it 😆🥲🤣). To leave you with something much more pleasant, here are two lovely scarves that I wore last week…

I think I need to wear more scarves next week. Perhaps they will help me achieve a feeling of calm and peace.

Happy Weekend!

Love and best wishes,

Anne

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