PLEASE DON’T READ IF THIS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU IN ANY WAY!
At about 11.00 this morning I thought I was going to die. I was curled up at the bottom of the stairs fighting for each breath and struggling to think how to control what was happening. My brain would not work well enough.
I haven’t had a really bad coughing attack for a while, but this one came completely out of the blue. Sitting in the lounge watching TV, I suddenly felt a catch in the back of my throat and started to cough and gasp. My nose and throat became blocked with mucus and I had to breathe through my mouth, but my vocal cords were closing and only a tiny bit of air was whooping in. I retched and coughed up phlegm and could feel that I was losing control of my bladder and bowels so tried to go upstairs to the bathroom. At the bottom of the stairs, I collapsed onto the floor and couldn’t get my legs to work.
My poor husband was beside himself trying to help, but when this happens there is nothing anyone can do. The only person who can deal with this is me and I have to force myself to take the only actions that will work. What I have to do is blow my nose repeatedly to remove any mucus and then stop myself trying to gasp air in through my mouth. I try to slow my breathing down and I have to find the self control to make my body do this whilst shaking in fear. Eventually, after several minutes which feel like an eternity, the coughing attacks begin to subside and my breathing feels more under my control. My body stops fighting my brain. I am exhausted and terrified, but know that the event is almost over.
I did get to the bathroom and then managed to go to bed. I read and watched TV on my iPad until I recovered enough to eat and drink again.
I know that I have written about this on my blog before, but I want to document what happens to me so that I can read it again later, when I am ready. Sorry if it is too much for some of you. Normal service will, hopefully, be resumed next week.
Hope you all have wonderful weekends.
breathe | friday morning by Mae Chevrette on Flickr
I can’t get over how appropriately named this photo is!
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