I must apologise for the missed post yesterday. Life has been very tough for the last few days. Over the weekend, we had the regular ASD problem which did not help my health issues at all or the family dynamic. I will never blame my chronic conditions on my son, he cannot help the meltdowns and tries so hard to make up to me afterwards, but my cough, in particular, reacts strongly to stress. So I ended up collapsing in a faint, then had a massive coughing fit with vomiting and other nasty side-effects and a further serious panic attack. This was followed by horrible weakness, exhaustion lasting several days and the return of the black dog.
I am feeling so useless and guilty because I cannot help my family enough, mainly Lovely Husband. He is buckling under the strain. I have also left the food bank in limbo. You may remember that, some months ago, I offered my help with their social media accounts. We had a meeting and I filled in the required paperwork, and also wrote a detailed plan. Then things went a bit pear-shaped and I am now in the position of having to finally make the decision as to whether I am really in a fit state to be able to do the job they need. I felt so much more optimistic when I offered, but, since then, my health has been so poor, both physically and mentally. But, if I say no I will be letting them down. I am already messing them around by not making the decision. I cannot make decisions at all!
So, I am now sitting in bed, yet again, feeling really sorry for myself and pouring out my angst on this blog. I will try to pull myself out of this mood before my next post!
My outfit today consists of my Sainsbury’s pyjamas (the nightshirt with the trousers shown below) not very exciting I know, but I am wearing a silk scarf 😄:
In a little while, I will get out of bed to plan something better to wear tomorrow. Perhaps something brightly coloured in cashmere?