Update 12/08/19 with an explanation!

Posted on 12/08/2019 by The Librain

I can finally write about what happened to me last week!

This is a very full and frank account of the events which lead to my neglect of the blog last week. Please feel free to skip over the details!

After uploading last Tuesday’s post, I sat in bed and read for a while, taking my scheduled medication at 10.00 p.m. Just as I had finished doing that, a massive coughing attack hit and I dashed to the loo with my bucket, inhaler and water bottle. The coughing bout lasted around fifteen to twenty minutes, much longer than usual, and it was so fierce that I totally lost control of my body functions. I could feel my chest straining to suck in air and my ribs began to hurt. My temperature rose until I could see that my skin was a deep red. I coughed up phlegm into the bucket and was continually sick. My heart was thumping in my chest. I really thought that I had reached the end of the line.

Elder Son, alerted by my frantic bangs on the bathroom wall (Lovely Husband was playing loud music downstairs and couldn’t hear what was going on), ran into the room and tried his best to help. He was my absolute hero that evening. Usually, after a cough of this magnitude, I recover fairly quickly. I go back to bed and rest until everything has calmed down, then sleep it off. This time, unfortunately, I didn’t really recover. My heart continued to beat very hard and I felt alternately hot, then cold. I was very confused, terrified and panicking.

I am not sure of the timescale now, as I was really “out of it”, LH called an ambulance and, eventually, two paramedics arrived in a car. They were brilliant and really helped to control the situation, doing loads of checks and taking my medical history, but they realised that my heart was showing rather odd readings. To cut a long story a bit shorter, they called for an ambulance, which took a very long time to arrive. They also rang and arranged a bed for me in the hospital where I am usually monitored for my respiratory issues. In other words, I wouldn’t have to go through the A&E system.

Between us, we decided that LH should stay at home to support Elder Son (who has ASD) and so I was taken into hospital, arriving around 04.00. I was lucky enough to be put into a single room with its own toilet. The staff did the usual checks and then hooked me up to a heart monitor for the next few hours. I was still very frightened and now alone, but various people popped their heads through the door from time to time. I didn’t sleep much!

Early in the morning, at around 07.30, I was thoroughly checked over by a junior doctor who filled in what looked like a very detailed document. It was difficult to describe everything properly as I was still quite confused, traumatised and really exhausted. Usually, in similar circumstances, LH does the talking as he has a really detailed knowledge of all my health conditions. Eventually a lovely lady brought me loads of cups of tea and a nice breakfast. I then waited for a few more hours.

After discussing my condition with a consultant, it was finally agreed that I was showing bigeminy, a kind of miss-beat in the normal heart rhythm. He didn’t seem overly concerned and said that it had probably been aggravated by my cough, anxiety and an infection. I was advised that they will investigate further and that I will be contacted with a view to wearing a 48 hour heart monitor. Quite a few years ago, when I was still working, I had something similar, so we will see what results.

After this, I was discharged and LH arrived to take me back home. It took me most of the week to recover, both physically and mentally, back to my “normal” as I was so shaken up. LH and ES were both very upset, as you can imagine, and have had to deal with it all.

So, I wasn’t really up to writing blog posts! I did manage to read quite a lot, once my concentration improved. I am now reasonably OK and hope that further investigations result in reassurance for us all. I have had a few more quite serious coughing attacks in the days since, but none as bad as Tuesday night’s.

Sorry if I worried anyone. I did shout out on Facebook and my friends were very kind and supportive, as they always are. I was very frightened at the time.

I am still very scared, but am trying to blot that out by keeping my mind occupied. There is a hairdresser’s appointment to go to tomorrow, so I will try my best to get there. I also need to return and pick up some library books. Hopefully, I will be able to write a “normal” blog post tomorrow afternoon – I will have to show you my new hairdo, after all!

Very best wishes to you all,

💛💚❤️💜💙🧡

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Update 09/08/19

Posted on 09/08/2019 by The Librain

I have had a very difficult time since my last post on Tuesday evening. As I am still so very tired, I will wait until Monday to write a full post explaining what has been going on. For now, I will just say that we are all a bit unsettled and upset but OK.

I hope that you all have a great weekend.

Best wishes,

🧡❤️💜💙💚💛

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Update 06/08/19 with a confession

Posted on 06/08/2019 by The Librain

Quite a long time ago, March 2018 in fact, I wrote a very difficult post. I will quote some of it now…

I have written many times over the last year about my list of chronic conditions and have detailed what my worst coughing attacks are like. Readers will be aware that I live every day, every hour and every minute, terrified that a severe cough will suddenly grab me by the throat and that I will have to dash to the bathroom with my bottle of water and sick bucket. I then sit on the loo, fighting for each breath, hoping that I will survive. Yes, it all sounds very dramatic and maybe overblown, but this is my life.

This is leading up to something that I am going to admit in public for the first time. In fact, I have only just told my immediate family. I take a range of medicine for all of my conditions, and to counteract the side effects of some of these very medications! For the cough specifically, I take morphine in a very low dose as one of its side effects is that it works as a cough suppressant. This is fairly effective, but I cannot take any extra tablets if I feel a bad cough coming on. To help with this, I also have Codeine Linctus, which is a well known cough medicine, that you can often get over the counter, although I have it on prescription. As I am so scared, virtually all of the time, I have become over-dependent on the codeine linctus. I began to realise that I have been taking far too much of it over quite a long time.

So, I am admitting here that I am trying to cut down on the codeine. It is very difficult for me and I have thought very hard and long about writing this. I feel very ashamed, but want to try to face this and get control again. I hope that, by speaking out, I will be able get a grip on myself and not reach for the medicine bottle when I get nervous.

I really did try to cut down on the Codeine Linctus, but, in the end, was unsuccessful and continued to take too much. I am only supposed to take it “as needed” but, instead, I found myself drinking it straight out of the bottle instead of carefully measuring the doses. I was not taking it when a cough threatened, but using it as a prop. I am very ashamed of myself.

Last week, when Lovely Husband and I were on our own, I finally confessed to him what I was doing. It was very hard because he had been telling me that he thought I was taking too much and at the wrong time, but I had argued with him vociferously, denying it all. I was trying to fool both him and myself. What really made me change was reading about codeine addiction and side effects and coming to the realisation that some of my symptoms might be made worse by the codeine, rather than better. Things like tiredness, feeling spaced out, dizziness, stomach issues, for example.

So, I have started the process of cutting down slowly. I am measuring out the correct doses properly, not cutting down too fast, but making a steady effort to take back control. I will talk about this with my counsellor on Friday. Also, I am making sure that LH is fully aware of what I am doing and I am leaving the bottle in the bathroom, rather than in my bedroom, so that he can see how slowly the bottle is emptying.

Despite my feelings of intense shame, I am also writing about this on here as a way of facing up to what I am doing. I hope that visitors to the blog will understand what is happening and will continue to visit for the more positive posts that I try to write.

That’s all for now.

Best wishes,

💚❤️💜💙🧡💛

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Update 05/08/19

Posted on 05/08/2019 by The Librain

I had a very good weekend, but have been ill today so cannot really write. It is Younger Son’s birthday and the first one where he hasn’t been with us, so that feels rather strange. I hope that I feel better tomorrow!

Best wishes,

💚💜❤️💙🧡

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Outfit of the day 02/08/19

Posted on 02/08/2019 by The Librain

I am feeling pretty pleased because I actually made it to my counselling appointment and, afterwards, we went to a pub for lunch! This feels like a really positive achievement 😁😁😁.

I really needed the counselling as I had a lot to talk through. This week has been very peaceful with Elder Son away, but he will soon be back and I need to be prepared for his “enthusiasm” when he returns tomorrow. He will need loads of hugs and also to tell me all about his adventures in great detail. That can get very exhausting, judging by previous experiences, and I need to be strong so that I can fully engage with him.

We tried out a new place for lunch. It was so lovely to be out together and we had such a great time chatting to each other. The food, however, was slow, meagre and very badly cooked, apart from the chips, which were scrumptious! We will not be going back as there are loads of nice places to eat around here that we have discovered over the eighteen years we have lived in the area.

I chose a very bright and cheerful outfit, based on this cute Hermès Bibliothèque gavroche, which I have often shown on here. I really love the combination with cobalt blue.

Outfit of the day 02/08/19 with Hermès’ Bibliothéque gavroche

Today’s outfit:

  • Cobalt blue cotton mix short sleeved top – Lands’ End.
  • Navy linen mix trousers – Isle Collection.
  • Navy nubuck slip on shoes – Hotter.
  • Blue crystal and silver earrings – Sonrisa Boutique.
  • Cobalt enamel and gold Curb Chain bangle – Halcyon Days.
  • Cream enamel and gold Byzantine bangle – Halcyon Days.
  • Bluette pompei leather midi-Muse handbag – Massaccesi.
  • Silk scarf, gavroche size, in bright pink, blue, green, yellow and orange – Bibliothèque – Hermès. Tied in a simple cowboy knot using my lengthening device.

The weather is lovely at the moment. Not too hot, but sunny and quite fresh. I hope that you all have a really wonderful weekend, wherever in the world you are.

Best wishes,

💙💙💙💙💙

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Update 01/08/19 with a big Oops!

Posted on 01/08/2019 by The Librain

Can you believe it! I actually forgot to write a post today. My book was so absorbing that I couldn’t put it down. Then I had my dinner, did my usual evening random blog and forum reading, and answered some emails. A few minutes ago, I was trying to remember something that was in the back of my mind. Something I needed to do…

Oops!

Best wishes,

🧡💚💛💜💙❤️

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Reading roundup 31/07/19

Posted on 31/07/2019 by The Librain

So, we have arrived at the last reading post of July already! I am not well today, so this will be a rather basic version of the usual roundup. I finished two books last week, as I was rather distracted with other things, but now have a huge pile of library books, that I chose on Monday, to enjoy.

The Heavens by Sandra Newman

The first book of the week was The Heavens by Sandra Newman. Here is the blurb:

New York, late summer, 2000. A party in a spacious Manhattan apartment, hosted by a wealthy young activist. Dozens of idealistic twenty-somethings have impassioned conversations over takeout dumplings and champagne. The evening shines with the heady optimism of a progressive new millennium. A young man, Ben, meets a young woman, Kate—and they begin to fall in love.

From their first meeting, Ben knows Kate is unworldly and fanciful, so at first he isn’t that concerned when she tells him about the recurring dream she’s had since childhood. In the dream, she’s transported to the past, where she lives a second life as Emilia, the mistress of a nobleman in Elizabethan England.

But for Kate, the dream becomes increasingly real and compelling until it threatens to overwhelm her life. And soon she’s waking from it to find the world changed—pictures on her wall she doesn’t recognize, new buildings in the neighborhood that have sprung up overnight. As she tries to make sense of what’s happening, Ben worries the woman he’s fallen in love with is losing her grip on reality.

I gave the book three stars on the Goodreads site and wrote the following review:

I don’t really know how to categorise this odd book or how to review it adequately. It reminds me of a short story by Ray Bradbury in which a man time travels back to the age of the dinosaurs, accidentally kills a butterfly and, when he returns to his own time, everything has subtly changed. This book has a similar theme, or does it? Is the main character mentally ill instead? The book gripped me in some parts and annoyed me in others. I almost put it down, but decided to finish it in the end. If you like Doctor Who, you may enjoy this book!

Only Killers and Thieves by Paul Howarth

My second book of the week was another departure from my usual menu of fantasy, science fiction and thrillers. This time the book was set in Australia in the final years of the 19th and early years of the 20th century: Only Killers and Thieves by Paul Howarth. This is the blurb:

It is 1885 and the McBride family are trying to survive a crippling drought that is slowly eroding their lives and hopes: their cattle are starved, and the family can no longer purchase the supplies they need on their depleted credit. When the rain finally comes, it’s a miracle. For a moment, the scrubland flourishes and the remote swimming hole fills. Returning home from an afternoon swim, fourteen-year-old Tommy and sixteen-year-old Billy McBride discover a scene of heartbreaking carnage: their dogs dead in the yard, their hardworking father and mother shot to death, and their precocious younger sister unconscious and severely bleeding from a wound to her gut. The boys believe the killer is their former Aboriginal stockman, and, desperate to save Mary, they rush her to John Sullivan, the wealthiest landowner in the region and their father’s former employer, who promises to take care of them.

Eager for retribution, the distraught brothers fall sway to Sullivan, who persuades them to join his posse led by the Queensland Native Police, an infamous arm of British colonial power whose sole purpose is the “dispersal” of indigenous Australians to “protect” settler rights. The group is led by the intimidating inspector Edmund Noone, a dangerous and pragmatic officer whose intellect and ruthlessness both fascinates and unnerves the watchful Tommy. Riding for days across the barren outback, the group is determined to find the perpetrators they insist are guilty, for reasons neither of the brothers truly understands. It is a harsh and horrifying journey that will have a devastating impact on Tommy, tormenting him for the rest of his life—and hold enduring consequences for a young country struggling to come into its own.

This was an excellent and hard-hitting book well-deserving four stars. This is my review:

This book is supremely well written, but I cannot say that I enjoyed reading it as the story is so brutal. It is like American Westerns in that a main part of the plot concerns the horrible treatment of indigenous people and the vile prejudice and racism of white settlers. It is also a coming of age story for the two teenage boys, Billy and Tommy, at the centre of the tale. The landscape of the Australian outback is brilliantly depicted and acts like another character. The reality of what happened to the boys’ family was not a surprise for me as I had already worked it out as was the author’s intention, I am sure. Unlike some other reviewers, I did like the ending despite the slight sense of foreboding.

This is a book well worth reading and an amazing debut.

I haven’t quite decided which book to tackle next, so will leave that discovery until next week!

Until then, Happy Reading to you all and best wishes,

📚📖📚📖📚

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Scarf of the moment: Musique des Dieux

Posted on 30/07/2019 by The Librain

Those of you who have been following this blog for a while will know that I have an interest in the ancient world dating back to my student days, when I read Ancient History and Archaeology at university. My particular areas are the art and architecture of Ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt. When I began to collect Hermès scarves, I simply chose ones that I liked from the current season’s offer on the official website. Eventually, I ventured forth to sites like Vestiaire and Videdressing before braving eBay. A common theme began to emerge as I found scarves linked to my interests: Mare Nostrum, Persepolis, Les Secrets de Minos, and Escales Mediterranéenes joined my first ever H scarf, La Promenade de Platon. I have been keeping an eye open for others and, recently, Musique des Dieux appeared on eBay at a good price.

Musique des Dieux was designed for Hermès Autumn/Winter 1996 season by Claudia Stuhlhofer-Mayr. It depicts the Music of the Gods: music and dance of mythical Ancient Greece. (The colours in the slideshow below are the closest to real life).

Musique des Dieux by Claudia Stuhlhofer-Mayr for Hermè

Description

The design has been created in a range of formats. I have the 90cm silk twill in shades of purple, blue, green, white and black. This colourway is very cool and elegant; others are bright and opulent and the scarves and shawls look very different according to the shades used. I do not have the code number for my version and would be very grateful if anyone could pass it on.

The Musique des Dieux design uses a central circle to frame the mythical scene of the meeting between the God Pan and the nymph Syrinx. Around this is a frieze, made up of four scenes contained within rectangular bordered shapes with fauns, satyrs, centaurs, nymphs and the God Hermès, dancing and playing musical instruments. Each of the four corners of the scarf have square frames with Greek key pattern borders containing named musical instruments. The words are written using the Greek alphabet.

The outer borders of the scarf have beribboned wreaths of leaves and fruit from a different plant on each of the four sides: ivy, grape vines, laurel and olive. Oak leaves with acorns surround the central frame. Four tiny key patterned squares are set at the outermost corners.

The colours of my version of the scarf are used very subtly. The figures are in black and white and are drawn in a similar way to those on Athenian Black-Figure vases. The background to these figures is a pale lilac and instruments, foliage and columns are touched with mauve and blue. The leaves and fruits are in muted greens with the ribbons shading from lilac to mauve. The edge patterns to the frames are picked out in black, white and pale blues.

Colourways

The design has been offered as a silk twill 90cm scarf, a cashmere/silk 140cm shawl, bracelets and also other formats such as cushions, plissé scarves etc. So far, I have found photos of scarves/shawls in these colourways, although I am sure that more were available. They are not easy to find in image types suitable for this post.

Musique des Dieux by Claudia Stuhlhofer-Mayr for Hermès

Here we have some other formats:

Design story

The story is told how Syrinx, an Arcadian nymph and the model of virtue, once changed herself into reeds to escape the attentions of the great Pan. The frolicsome, but wily god, however, cut these same reeds and formed them into a rustic flute, whose plaintive accents still pipe to us the frustration of the swain and the breathlessness of the beauty. Fauns, nymphs, satyrs, centaurs and the god Hermès in person, make a frieze to frame this primeval drama of sexual harassment.

Details

Here are some closeups of my scarf in a slideshow format:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

How I wear the scarf

I have only worn the scarf once so far and here is the resulting collage. As I wear it more, I will add the collages here. The scarf, as you can see, looks great with purple clothes and I will also wear it with white and, perhaps, navy. Black would work well, but I don’t wear that colour these days!

Outfit of the day 24/05/19 with Hermès’ Musique des Dieux scarf

Scarf ties

These are a few quick ties that I made to show the details and colours of the scarf. As the scarf is quite “well used” it is very soft, so works quite well with ties such as the waterfall knot. It is also quite versatile as there is interest all over the design, from the central scene, to the friezes, the foliage borders and also the corners.

Musique des Dieux – scarf ties

1) Top row L to R: criss-cross knot, cowl knot, waterfall knot.
2) Middle row L to R: cowboy cowl, asymmetric wrap, half bow knot.
3) Bottom row L to R: asymmetric wrap, collar knot, cowboy knot.
Scarf ring used above is mother-of-pearl by MaiTai.

Background information

To follow the design of the scarf, I first researched some background information about Syrinx and Pan:

Wikipedia
Syrinx
Article about Syrinx the nymph and the pipes bearing her name.

Greek Legends and Myths
The Naiad Syrinx in Greek Mythology
Short illustrated article.

J. Paul Getty Museum
Pan and Syrinx
Shows an eighteenth century painting of the mythical meeting by Jean-François de Troy, with a short explanation.

Now a few links and videos about Ancient Greek music and musical instruments:

Wikipedia
Music of Ancient Greece
Usual style of Wikipedia article.

The Conversation
Ancient Greek music: now we finally know what it sounded like
Interesting article with illustrations and videos explaining recent discoveries.

Hellenicaworld
Ancient Greek Music by Michael Lahanas
Very detailed article with interesting images. Quite an old fashioned looking web page, but the information appears to be comprehensive.

Kotsanas Museum of Ancient Greek Technology
The Musical Instruments of Ancient Greeks
Very comprehensive list of the instruments with short explanations.

List of Instrument Info
Music of Ancient Greece
List of Ancient Greek musical instruments.

I hope readers have found this exploration of Musique des Dieux both interesting and useful. Once again, if you find any errors or have any additional information that I could add, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Best wishes,

💙💜❤️💛💚🧡

Posted in Scarf of the moment, Scarves, Wardrobe | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Outfit of the day 29/07/19

Posted on 29/07/2019 by The Librain

Well, I am in bed writing this post, feeling rather chuffed. I have been out! Hooray!

First of all, Lovely Husband took me to the Library to choose a huge pile of books and pick up a reservation, then we went to B & Q to get some new brooms and a bucket, and finally we drove to one of the local garden centres for a cup of tea! Yes, I know you are all having exotic holidays all over the place (and I am insanely jealous), but this feels like the trip of the year for me! You can tell by the exuberant use of exclamation marks.

This is an outfit that I planned to wear last week, but couldn’t. It has been sunny and warm today, after the near monsoon conditions of the weekend (only slightly exaggerating). Apparently it is going to rain quite a lot during the rest of the week. Anyway, this outfit combines some of my absolute favourite colours: turquoise, navy and white. I don’t have a good image of the long cardigan, but, believe me, the colour is gorgeous and tones beautifully with the earrings, necklace and bangle. To finish the outfit, I carried my lovely navy blue metallic leather midi-zip Selene handbag by Massaccesi.

Outfit of the day 29/07/19

Today’s outfit:

  • White cotton short sleeved t-shirt – Sainsbury’s Tu.
  • Soft teal viscose long cardigan – Kettlewell Colours.
  • Navy linen mix trousers – Isle Collection.
  • Navy leather sandals – Suave.
  • Turquoise, white and gold tone tassel necklace – eBay.
  • Turquoise enamel and rose gold Giraffe bangle – Halcyon Days.
  • Blue topaz and gold stud earrings.

Elder Son is away this week, so Lovely Husband and I are enjoying the peace and quiet. Actually, I am really missing him because he is such a great help to me (when in the right mood) and a champion hugger! LH is getting a bit overwhelmed by extra hugs 😀🤗😁.

I am currently trying to research and build a Scarf of the Moment post about the Hermès’ Musique des Dieux scarf that I bought a while ago. It is proving quite difficult to find very much about it because it was issued in 1996. Anyway, I hope to have the post ready for upload later in the week. I really enjoy compiling these types of post and I can see from the site statistics they are popular with visitors!

Best wishes,

💚🧡💛💜💙❤️

Posted in Clothes, Family, Jewellery, Lifestyle, Outfit of the day, Wardrobe | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Update 26/07/19

Posted on 26/07/2019 by The Librain

This steaming hot weather in the UK has made me very ill. I am unable to post today, but I hope that everything will return to something like normal next week.

Best wishes to you all and happy weekend!

🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

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